Wow it has been quite a long time since I have posted on here. So much has changed in the last three months most of which I still cannot believe or seem to grasp. Last time I was thinking of photographer and bridesmaids dress choices and now I am worried about how I am going to get through the holidays. Thanksgiving weekend has come and gone and this was the first weekend I truly felt alone. Don't get me wrong I have felt something missing ever since the accident, but it was obvious that only one person was missing at family dinners this weekend. It was also the first night on a weekend that I have sat home by myself. I've been doing things with friends on the weekends to keep myself occupied. I have a feeling that Christmas is going to be worse. I thank God every single day for my wonderful family and friends. Without their love and support I don't know where I would be today. They have been so wonderful to me during this very difficult time and I know they will continue to help me get through the next several months. I've also been finding and reading many inspirational quotes during this time. A few of my favorites include:
"Faith in God includes faith in his timing."
"There are moments in life when you wish you could bring someone down from Heaven. Spend the day with them just one more time, give them one more hug, kiss them goodbye or hear their voice again. One more chance to say I LOVE YOU."
"It's okay to talk about it or not to talk about it. It's okay to ask for help or just want to be alone. It's okay to be angry or feel frustrated. It's okay to laugh sometimes and cry other times. It's okay to take all the time you need because what we want for you is for things to be more than just okay."
Probably my most recent favorite:
"Loving someone so much and then losing them unexpectedly is hard to get over. It's hard believing that their really gone and their not coming back. So you live each day pretending their still there, you keep their memory alive by never letting them go. It's just a process of coping...And it never goes away."
The feeling will never go away, but will live through the memories we've created. I look through pictures frequently and continue to share stories of our life together. The thing I have learned most from this experience is that you need to live life to the fullest because you never know when your life might end. Make sure you tell those you love that you love them as often as you can. Do things you never thought were possible. This will probably be my last post for the year. I'll be back at the beginning of the year with a bucket list. Things I want to accomplish in my lifetime. Before I go here is an update on my New Year's goals for the end of the year.
Get back in shape and run a 5k. I didn't do any activity except volleyball for two months, but I have gotten back into exercising 4-5 days a week and even ran a full 5k on Thanksgiving Day. Ran the whole thing without stopping and finished in 34:07. My next goal is the 5 mile Shamrock Shuffle in Chicago in April.
Debt Free, Save More. Goal accomplished, car was paid off two weeks ago and saving more and more every week. Even with Christmas coming I still manage to put extra money in savings.
Eat Out Less. Doing very well the last few months. I eat at home way more often than I used to, easy to do when you don't have a dinner date all the time.
Read More Books. I'm on my 5th book for the year, The Help. This will take me to the end of the year, I'm struggling to get through it. Next year I'm finishing my Jodi Picoult collection.
New Job. As posted in July, I'm staying at Mercantile with my promotion. Not looking forward to moving buildings though.
Keep in Touch with Friends. This has been going very well and I look forward to working on it through 2012.
Now 2012 just needs to get here, it's been a rough year and I'm ready for it to be over. Hope all of you have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
